Open letter from Coco Lam on being a lesbian in Holland, MI

My sister wrote this amazing, heartfelt letter.  I feel that it is important that as many people read it as possible.  Feel free to share, re-post, anything.  The message is very important. Thanks.  

Written in October of 2010. The HRC approved the measure.

Open Letter to Holland's Human Relations Commission:

Hello,

I am a former Holland resident.  I was born and raised in Holland, and lived there primarily until I was 21 years old.  I now live in the town of Eugene, Oregon, and I am 25 years old.  Holland holds a special place in my heart, and so I often read articles online from my hometown.  I recently read some of the articles about the anti-discrimination clause, brought to my attention by my younger sister, Jaime Jo Coon.  I hope Holland is ready.  I feel that my insight may be of value to you as you consider including sexual orientation and gender identity to this clause.  

In one article, I saw that Reverend Houston of Fennville claims there is not discrimination based on sexual orientation.  This, I know as a fact, is untrue.  I am a lesbian, and I lived for several years out of the closet in Holland.  When I was 21, I was fired from my job at Target on the north side of Holland.  The official reason was tardiness (1-2 minutes late, 3 times) but I was made aware that the problem really was I was "too obvious" and "too open".  It's not as if I wore gay pride buttons to work or discussed my views or personal life with customers.  I just answered honestly when asked by coworkers whether I had a boyfriend.  Another young man was fired for filing a complaint against his superior for making cruel gay jokes at his expense and calling him a "fag".  But this is not just about one work place.  Following the loss of that job, I was seeking jobs at daycares.  I had experience working with children (volunteer work through Hope Church in Harlem, NY, volunteering in classrooms for HPS) and had taken several child development classes with on-site work and was at the time working on a degree in Occupational Therapy.  I was told by three daycares and preschools that I was well-qualified and they wished they could hire me, but "it would upset the parents" and "make people uncomfortable" and so I was turned down.  This is a struggle many openly queer people face in finding employment in Holland.

In high school (HHS), my friends and I formed the Gay-Straight Alliance, but it took a year of someone else trying, and months from the next year before we were allowed to be a school group.  The GSA and Holland High School's Amnesty International chapter participated in the Day of Silence, a national youth-run effort using silence to protest the actual silencing of LGBT people due to harassment, bias and abuse in schools.  This was not too long ago, in 2002, 2003, and 2004.  Each year students who participated faced harassment from other students as well as from teachers.  Formal complaints were made against a particular Physical Education teacher who referred to his student as a "fag," made fun of him to the rest of the class, and gave him an F for the days grade.  Nothing came of this complaint.  This student stopped going to class, and failed, because he was afraid of being harassed and having no one stand up for him or protect him.

There is also discrimination walking down the street.  I have had a soda bottle thrown at me from a car on one occasion while the person, a grown man, yelled, "Dyke!" and sped off.  Just this past July I was visiting my family who still reside in Holland, and I was called out in the same way, just walking down the street, twice.  Here in Eugene, Oregon, I have a wife and two daughters.  I moved nearly 3,000 miles away to find a place I could be accepted.  3,000 miles away from my family, from the community that raised me, from my life-long friends.  I suppose I could stand to live in Holland and face that discrimination, because I am a strong woman and I have gone through it before.  But my daughters (the children of my partner), eight and twelve, they have never seen this type of discrimination.  Holland is not yet a town where I would feel safe raising a family as a queer woman.  Next summer, I am bringing my wife and children to visit Holland.  For our girls, it will be the first time.  I wonder if I should prepare them for what discrimination and harassment they might see.  I worry that they will not remember anything of my beloved hometown but being yelled at by strangers for having two moms.  I am a little afraid to bring my family to Holland.  My partner and I talk about places we may move to in the future, and I would like to be near my family, but unless I know that my rights as an equal citizen will be protected, Holland is out of the question.  

We are all created equal.  I believe that is the basis of human rights.  Please, for the queer students in Holland, for queer adults looking for jobs and stability, for families looking for a peaceful life, for children of two moms and children of two dads, please, let there be no hesitation in this obvious decision.  Act out of love rather than fear.  Include sexual orientation and gender identity in the anti-discrimination clause.  Let no person suffer for being different.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Coco Lam

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Here's what's happening:  

Dear Coco and Jaime - received your "Open Letter" on Monday and we were both moved by your courageous and vibrant expression to the Human Relations Council - in fact, moved to want to share it widely because it needs to be heard/seen with what is being acted on here  - and because, Coco, your letter was so well conceived and wondrously written that it can reach people - which it has! - because I plucked it out of Facebook and e-mailed it to at least 50 friends and fellow Hope Church members - and I have about 20 replies in my Inbox expressing their feelings, saying they will relay it on, and encouraging it be sent to others - so Pfllg here has sent it on to 150 persons on their mailing list - and I sent it personally to all City Council members who will soon be voting the Human Relations recommendation soon - all of which came about from urging and permission to "share it" - so your very personal message is "out there" touching people - all because you both listened, cared and shared - which sends our pride in you both soaring - and swells out our constant love for you - Gramps and Grandma too 

Uphold the legacy of Ryan White

June 26, 2009 Section: homepage COLUMN - Uphold the legacy of Ryan White JAIME COON Community Advisory Board Many people recognize the havoc HIV/AIDS is causing in Africa, but don't realize how prevalent the disease still is in the United States.

Our HIV/AIDS population is ranked 10th worldwide. It is estimated that more than 1.2 million people are living with HIV. More than 500,000 people have died from AIDS in this country alone. When AIDS appeared in the early 1980s, stigma surrounded those infected with the disease. HIV/AIDS was seen by some as a punishment from God on the gay community, and as a result, the government was slow to help. HIV/AIDS for a time was even officially called "Gay Related Immune Deficiency," or GRID. Many people with AIDS were ostracized. One such individual was Ryan White, an Indiana teenager and hemophiliac. He was diagnosed with AIDS in 1984 at age 13. He received AIDS through a transfusion to treat his hemophilia. Many who lived in his town of Kokomo reacted with fear and even hatred. Ryan had to fight in the courts to be allowed back in school. The legal battle lasted eight months and attracted worldwide attention, causing Ryan to become a poster boy for the AIDS crisis. When he moved to Cicero, Ind., a program was implemented that educated students about how AIDS was (and wasn't) transmitted. The reaction of many in Cicero was different from in Kokomo; Ryan felt accepted. Ryan's story demonstrates the importance of fighting prejudice, fear and misinformation with education. Ryan went on to speak publicly about living with AIDS, appearing on television and testifying before President Reagan's AIDS Commission. Ryan gave AIDS a face that people could accept, and in turn Americans recognized that both action and education were necessary to fight AIDS. Ryan fought both for his life and for acceptance, and entered the national consciousness. By changing the face of AIDS, Ryan White created a legacy; he increased tolerance, education and help for people with AIDS. He died in 1990. The Ryan White CARE Act, the largest AIDS bill in the United States, was passed the same year, a year before I was born. I have been entering projects in National History Day competitions since 2006. This year, my group decided to make a documentary on Ryan White. This experience turned out to be so much more than a history project when we had the opportunity to travel to Cicero to interview four people who knew Ryan very well, including his mother, Jeanne White-Ginder. I took many things from these conversations, including a very personal connection to Ryan, and I was especially touched by Mrs. White-Ginder's continued dedication to her causes. I hadn't realized how much HIV/AIDS still affects our country, both the disease and the associated stigma. The Ryan White CARE Act, which is only funded through September of this year, provides financial help for those with the disease who can't afford the expensive medications. Please, help keep Ryan's legacy alive, and urge your representatives to reauthorize the Ryan White CARE Act. HIV/AIDS remains a critical issue in our country and should be recognized as such. People with HIV or AIDS face two battles just as Ryan did: the disease and the associated prejudice. However, because of Ryan's actions, both of these struggles have been lessened, and Ryan's legacy will hopefully be continued through the CARE Act. His success can be applied broadly and is still applicable to today's society: Education is the best weapon against prejudice, whether this prejudice is homophobia, racism or AIDS. Ryan White has taught me the importance of fighting prejudice with education, and I will continue this legacy as long as I am able.

Copyright 2009, The Holland Sentinel, All Rights Reserved.

The value of a public school education

September 28, 2007 Section: opinion The value of public school education Community Advisory Board JAIME COON "Every child should have the opportunity to receive a quality education."

I'm not sure what Bill Frist's meaning was behind this quote, but I sure know what comes to mind when I read it. It makes me think about the value of a public school education. Public school systems offer a superior education to all children.I am proud to say that I have been educated in one of these systems. I am currently completing my sophomore year at Holland High School. My experience reflects the value of public schools.While at Holland, I've had the opportunity to take part in the Gifted and Talented program and advanced class options. Our high school has numerous Advanced Placement and honors classes, and the varied class choices have given me the opportunity to take four years of Latin.These choices are superb, but what I really love about public school systems like Holland or West Ottawa is the teaching of all students together. I am fortunate to have been born into an upper-middle-class family, but I am still educated with people from all socioeconomic groups, and it really makes me aware of the struggles other people face. The diversity of nationalities and cultures helps students better understand how to interact with people different from themselves.The best part of public school systems, however, is the educating of students with different learning styles together. Public schools provide for whoever comes to the school, whether it's a student with learning difficulties or special needs or one whose first language is not English. Through my experience at Holland, I have befriended and been educated alongside hearing-impaired students, severely multiply impaired students, children with English as their second language, and many other kids with different learning styles and needs. It has enhanced my learning beyond the superior academics public schools offer.Public schools should reflect the community, so when a student is emerging from school into the real world, he or she will know how to interact and have better knowledge about how to help solve the world's problems. When students learn elbow to elbow with people different from themselves, they receive an education in community. John Dewey said, "Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself." Public schools are a microcosm of the community, so students experience real life.It has been shown that when public school systems fail, the community struggles as well. When people of privilege abandon the public schools to be educated among "peers," not only do they lose all types of necessary diversity, but public schools suffer and become overburdened after losing needed support.Public school systems educate everybody, which is difficult, so they need sustenance. It is a social responsibility for our community to provide for our public schools. Fulfilling this social responsibility does not necessitate losing a very high quality education. Our community has public school systems that provide superior education and create socially aware students, but without continued support, these valuable assets to our community could be lost.I have had a wonderful education alongside a reflection of the community. Advanced students have higher-level class choices and gifted programs, average students have a wide variety of class options, and struggling students have programs and classes to meet their needs. Our community, though, needs to "stick" with public school systems to benefit all, so students in the future can have the education I have so enjoyed. Public school systems benefit the community by offering an exceptional education in academics and life. Every student deserves that.

Copyright 2007, 2008 The Holland Sentinel, All Rights Reserved

Never be quiet again about injustice

March 14, 2008 Section: opinion Never be quiet again about injustice Community Advisory Board JAIME COON Jaime Coon is a student at Holland High School. She can be reached through The Sentinel at newsroom@hollandsentinel.com. Ever since my sister told me she was gay a few years ago, I have sought to educate myself on this divisive issue. Personally, she was my sister and nothing could ever change that for me. But I struggled with other people's reactions to homosexuality. How could someone so loving and so good as my sister be so detested by many just because of one small element of her total being?

And then, last year with my church youth group, I traveled to New York City to a church in the Greenpoint neighborhood where two gay ministers preach. I couldn't understand why these two moral people, these servants to the community, were being isolated by church leaders. How can this be?My entire life I've heard stories of marginalized members of our community suffering, physically and mentally. They have been forced to hide who they really are, disowned by their loved ones and attacked brutally; and some have been so tormented that they have become depressed and even committed suicide. People who just want the same opportunity to love as the rest of us have been ostracized and criticized to the point where we have shut them out of our community. I can't stand it any longer.As my mind has been opened up to these atrocities, my mouth has opened as well. I can never be quiet again. I will not stand by and watch as valuable members of our community are excluded and abused because of their sexuality.Morality is a tough word to define. In a community where religion exists almost as a status, many ignorantly believe the supposed immorality of homosexuals. People need to get educated. It is immoral to expect someone to live his or her entire life without love, pretending and hiding. As a Christian, I believe that God accepts everyone. Just because someone has a different truth about love doesn't mean that God doesn't love him or her.Love is not a sin. God is love. But oppression and cruelty is most definitely immoral. Because of this ignorance and prejudice, families have been broken and so many have experienced intense suffering. This unjust intolerance has bred the worst kind of immorality. How can we allow such suffering?Our community needs to step up and accept homosexuals. Holland prides itself on being a moral town, but this abominable prejudice of many contradicts that. If you believe that everybody deserves compassion and the opportunity to be himself or herself, you need to stand together with others and be loud. We cannot be quiet one second longer. We could shut out someone else and lose him or her forever.The world will be a better place when we can recognize with integrity that all people, including homosexuals, deserve to be allowed to love in peace. I know that many people have supported this cause and that progress has been made, but while homosexuals are still being discriminated against there is something to fight for.Morality is difficult to define. But there is no doubt that it requires the ability to love someone for who he or she is. Our community needs to love our homosexual members and accept the greater truth of love.

Copyright 2008 The Holland Sentinel, All Rights Reserved